When I find you. I always knew.





I wrote "When I Find You" circa 2005. I wrote it looking into the future. Ana and I got married in 2012. In 2016, I stumbled upon the poem "I Always Knew" by Rod McKuen. Both poems describe how the present, the past and the future became one when I held her in my arms. Every day I give thanks for my best friend, my travel mate, the love of my life, my wife. I give thanks for the love that brought us together. I pray that as you read you know that love will find you!!! Enjoy.

When I Find You

When I find you...

I am going to make you a necklace with my whispers

I am going to write you a poem with my dreams

I am going to hold your hand with my hopes

I am going to embrace you with my shadow



Together we will discover a new world

A world where the sky is green and the grass is blue

A world where everything is possible

A world where problems are lessons

A world where waking up is the best time of the day

because a new day is a new opportunity

to laugh, to forgive,

to grow, to smile, to love

To walk barefoot on the grass

To enjoy our favorite ice cream

To watch children play

To listen to our favorite band

To learn from an old person

To smell a jasmine

To drink a sunset

To say a prayer

To thank our parents

for bringing us into this amazing world

To praise God our Father for this adventure we call life

this is the world that I want to explore with you

A world where going to sleep

is more than resting

because sleeping is a new opportunity

                                               to dream

to dream of the day I meet you

to dream of the day that I finally find you

because when I find you...


I am going to make you a necklace with my whispers

I am going to write you a poem with my dreams

I am going to embrace you with my shadow

I am going to make you a necklace with my whispers


Mario Arana



I Always Knew

I always knew

that you would find me,

no clock needed to remind

me that it would happen.

I planned on it, worked it out

hid in plain sight every day

knowing you would pass,

that way or this, come along,

go by, pause in moving to

here or somewhere; near or

far it did not matter. You

              would arrive.



It kept the heart

alive and thriving in the clatter

of times' travel to know

that you would turn and see me

then not turn away. You here

or coming, unraveling the puzzle,

kept me whole and safe

and driving on toward this day.



When the evenings, like forever,

started fleeting, going fast

I could see you at some distance

disappearing in the mist.

In the mass of fondled faces

one imagines in a lifetime

yours was there just out of grasp.



As you fluttered in my future,

fled throughout my lifelong past

I expected every spring to bring you

to my arms, to my side. When

the autumns started coming thick

and firm and fast, I never once

gave up believing you'd arrive

with winters passing, you would

be here as the moon fell.



As the sun rose we would clasp

hands at first, then bodies closing

up that awful gap that life without

a life long partner leaves between

the noon and night line. Did I

falter in my faith? Once or twice

perhaps, but never long enough

to leave you languishing in some

dream that wasn't mine. Because

I always knew that you would

find me, I never sent out distress

signals, never tapped out SOS.



I was blessed

with growing knowledge, something

whispered do not worry, it will

happen, it's been planned. Nothing

here is happenstance. Do not hurry.

Do not pause to catch your breath.

So it was I always knew



Now and then I leapt to heaven

on another's stroke or kiss, lent

to me to keep me going in this

sure direction. Afterward the same

affection that I saved, assigned to you

only grew. I always knew that you

would find me and so I did not

bother scrawling each and every

new address on cloud or curb stone.

Why? I was waiting, you knew the rest.



A nocturne for The King of Naples,

A serenade or two for those who

got me through some fearful midnights.

Sonatas for some faces time erases but

does not forget. A double wind concerto

for the wind itself; it could have blown

me anywhere, but wouldn't, didn't. I

dropped some songs along the way in

laps of strangers, even laps I knew. But

this music you see spread around you

these notes and half notes, planted long

ago, that grew and grew was/were saved,

because I always knew that you would

find me and help me with the harvest.



The strongholds, the havens that

proved weak and wanting, lessons

learned, prizes earned, not always

given. Paths I paved, paths unpaved.

The rest of what I have to offer, little

things this life's amassed; for you,

for you, it was for you I saved

                               the best for last.


Rod McKuen















































































Comments